I have a recent client who just become divorced and her 7 year old daughter wants to take the kitten to stay with her when she is at the other parent's home.
Any advice as to the best way to handle this or if there should be a waiting period for the kitten to get used to the current home. I would like to have the least stress to the kitten as he needs to get used to that home, new family, a resident cat, etc.
Thanks
Ayieeeee... that's a tough one. It doesn't seem like a good choice for the kitty cat.. I guess one good thing about the bird nesting arrangement I had with my ex till the house was sold.. was that the kids stayed in the home and the ex and I took turns there. The kids weren't disrupted more than necessary and the cats didn't have to move back and forth.
If it is all the kitten knows then after the initial period I wouldn't have thought it would be too bad. All of our kittens adapt when we send them to their new homes or bring them home to us so what is there to say that a kitten couldn't adapt to two homes? At least the lady is being honest with you but is that so that when she tells her 7 year old daughter that she can't take the kitten with her it's so that she has someone else to blame? Do they already have the kitten? If so, how long has the kitten been with the new family? Has it been living in a stressful situation while the divorce went through? I would have thought that this could be just as stressful as sharing time between two homes. I know of people over here who take their cats off on holiday with them at regular intervals and they (the cats) seem to cope ok.
That is a tough situation for the mom....However I would just tell the 7 year old that it wouldn't be good for her kitten, that she would get confused and upset being shuttled back and forth. I personally would be concerned not only about the kitten's stress but with not knowing what the kitten could eventually "get into" while away.
Catherine
(02-22-2010 04:51 PM)KittyGlitter Wrote: [ -> ]Ayieeeee... that's a tough one. It doesn't seem like a good choice for the kitty cat.. I guess one good thing about the bird nesting arrangement I had with my ex till the house was sold.. was that the kids stayed in the home and the ex and I took turns there. The kids weren't disrupted more than necessary and the cats didn't have to move back and forth.
Wow! You & your ex really placed the needs of your kids first - that is unusual in most cases! That is wonderful!
I know NOTHING about animal psychology. But, having said that? This sounds like a really bad idea for the kitty.
Sometimes it's ok to teach our kids that they can't have everything just because they want it. This sounds like one of those times... Seven is old enough to understand that concept.
To the cat it is no different than two parts of the same, bigger house. Just do slow introductions in both places and I would be inclined to do it at one time, just like introducing more rooms and more new residents.
Maxtmill, thank you.. it took us over a year to finally get into our own places. A horrid year going between my boyfriend's place and my brother's. Everyone was so supportive, I don't know what I would have done without them! The kids have been the winners, it was worth it!
(02-22-2010 03:56 PM)Megailee Wrote: [ -> ]I have a recent client who just become divorced and her 7 year old daughter wants to take the kitten to stay with her when she is at the other parent's home.
Any advice as to the best way to handle this or if there should be a waiting period for the kitten to get used to the current home. I would like to have the least stress to the kitten as he needs to get used to that home, new family, a resident cat, etc.
Thanks
I'm not expert, but I would like to agree with Jan....I'm 25 year old professional who will not be living with my boyfriend for another year. I do spend half the week with him. Half at my home and half at his --- so at least 2-3 times a week I will sleep there. I plan on bringing my kitten with me. I think that with the proper training/introduction that a cat can handle this. I plan on introducing my kitty to both homes and I also plan on getting my kitty used to traveling in my car period. I think if introduced to all of this at a young age after a few weeks of getting settled in at my home and with me that he will definitely accept it in his life. (Hopefully, cause otherwise my boyfriend will not be too impresses with always having to come to my home
)
Either way -- I am mostly doing this because I don't want my kitten to be left alone for a full 24 hours unless absolutely necessary! Most definitely not as a routine thing each week either. In your client's situation the kitten would not be left alone because he/she would be with the mother...so it might be a different story.
I think it would be important to be sure the other parent is onboard with all this. How far apart are the two households? How long are the visits to each place? Would the kitten have double everything, or would they have to pack for kitty, too? If these are just every other weekend visits, or the like, it would seem a lot easier to leave the kitten in the home where the child spends the greatest amount of time. And, if there is a house where only short periods are spent, it would be kind of hard for the short time home to stay kitty safe between visits. Seems like a pretty big logistics problem, to me.
janilee