02-19-2010, 05:32 PM
This Is True & You Know It If You Are A Pet Owner. 
You Need to Know It If You Are Not!!! 
The following was found posted very low on a refrigerator door.
Dear Dogs and Cats: The dishes with the paw prints are yours and contain your food. The other dishes are mine.
Placing a paw print in the middle of my plate of food does not stake a claim for you, nor do I find that aesthetically pleasing in the slightest. The stairway was not designed by NASCAR as a racetrack. Racing me to the bottom is not the object and tripping me doesn't help. I can fall faster than you can run.
I cannot buy anything larger than a king sized bed. I'm sorry about this, but do not think I will continue sleeping on the couch to ensure your comfort. Dogs and cats can actually curl up in a ball when they sleep. It is not necessary to sleep perpendicular to each other, stretched out to the fullest extent possible. I also know that sticking tails straight out and having tongues hanging out on the other end to maximize space is nothing but sacasm!
For the last time, there is no secret exit from the bathroom! If by some miracle I beat you there and manage to get the door shut, it is not necessary to claw, whine, meow, try to turn the knob or get your paw under the edge in an attempt to open the door. I must exit through the same door I entered. I've been using the bathroom for years. Feline attendance is not required.
Finally, in fairness dear pets, I have posted the following message on the front door:
TO ALL NON-PET OWNERS WHO VISIT HERE & LIKE TO COMPLAIN ABOUT OUR PETS:
(1) They live here. You don't.
(2) If you don't want their hair on your clothes, stay off the furniture.
That's why it's called 'Fur'-niture!
(3) We like our pets a lot better than most people.
(4) To you they are animals. To us they are adopted sons/daughters who are short, hairy, walk on all fours and don't speak clearly.
REMEMBER DOGS AND CATS ARE BETTER THAN KIDS BECAUSE THEY:
(1) eat less
(2) don't ask for money
(3) are easier to train
(4) normally come when called
(5) never ask to drive the car
(6) don't smoke or drink
(7) don't want to wear your clothes
(8) don't have to buy the latest fashions
(9) don't need a gazillion dollars for college and
(10) If they get pregnant, you can sell their children!!!
You Need to Know It If You Are Not!!! The following was found posted very low on a refrigerator door.
Dear Dogs and Cats: The dishes with the paw prints are yours and contain your food. The other dishes are mine.
Placing a paw print in the middle of my plate of food does not stake a claim for you, nor do I find that aesthetically pleasing in the slightest. The stairway was not designed by NASCAR as a racetrack. Racing me to the bottom is not the object and tripping me doesn't help. I can fall faster than you can run.
I cannot buy anything larger than a king sized bed. I'm sorry about this, but do not think I will continue sleeping on the couch to ensure your comfort. Dogs and cats can actually curl up in a ball when they sleep. It is not necessary to sleep perpendicular to each other, stretched out to the fullest extent possible. I also know that sticking tails straight out and having tongues hanging out on the other end to maximize space is nothing but sacasm!
For the last time, there is no secret exit from the bathroom! If by some miracle I beat you there and manage to get the door shut, it is not necessary to claw, whine, meow, try to turn the knob or get your paw under the edge in an attempt to open the door. I must exit through the same door I entered. I've been using the bathroom for years. Feline attendance is not required.
Finally, in fairness dear pets, I have posted the following message on the front door:
TO ALL NON-PET OWNERS WHO VISIT HERE & LIKE TO COMPLAIN ABOUT OUR PETS:
(1) They live here. You don't.
(2) If you don't want their hair on your clothes, stay off the furniture.
That's why it's called 'Fur'-niture!
(3) We like our pets a lot better than most people.
(4) To you they are animals. To us they are adopted sons/daughters who are short, hairy, walk on all fours and don't speak clearly.
REMEMBER DOGS AND CATS ARE BETTER THAN KIDS BECAUSE THEY:
(1) eat less
(2) don't ask for money
(3) are easier to train
(4) normally come when called
(5) never ask to drive the car
(6) don't smoke or drink
(7) don't want to wear your clothes
(8) don't have to buy the latest fashions
(9) don't need a gazillion dollars for college and
(10) If they get pregnant, you can sell their children!!!
![[Image: DSC00272.jpg]](http://i943.photobucket.com/albums/ad280/linda9300/DSC00272.jpg)