Well the new kitten (Tesla) purrs like crazy and is bold and curious and a good little boy. He ate and drink right when we got back and then used his litter box right in front of us. So, that's great. We had him set up in the guest room with everything he needed. The problem is, despite having not made a peep on the drive home, when closed in that room he cries and cries. That's to be expected, but it is grating. Like an infant, you know?
Atrus got a peek at him and is sooo pissed. My baby is such a sweetheart and I love him, but he is hissing and growling and won't even let me touch him. Honestly, I'm a little afraid to. He is not a biter at all, but he looks like he could be at the moment. I expected all of this. I want to coddle Atrus and show him lots of affection so that he does not feel ignored, but he is not letting me. He is slinking around and growling and being angry. I cannot hold him and cuddle him like I want to. I want to make him happy again. Just this morning he came to me in bed and purred and purred. He just loves to be held. Now he hates me.
I did expect all this. I did. I even told my husband to be prepared that Atrus would hate the kitten at first and would hiss and be a grump.
The kitten (Tesla) has been moved to the downstairs half-bath with all his necessary things. He is still crying. I don't want to come get him every time he cries, but he is very loud. I supervised his exploring earlier, but I can only do so much at a time and I cannot let him wander out of arms length yet. Atrus varies between being scared of him and starting to follow him. I haven't been letting him get anywhere close. I don't want to inhibit his curiosity of his supposed new "friend" but I am a little afraid he might hurt the kitten. I still don't know what to do about the kitten's crying and we both need to get some sleep tonight. I know there are threads like this all the time and I thought I knew what to expect, but I can't help feeling at this point that I've made a mistake.
Please don't feel like that. I have a friend who had a lone raggie for about 3 years before adding a kitten. I remember her first posts about Maximus (her raggie) hissing at them and even trying to bite them after bringing the kitten home. She thought she'd made a mistake too, and this went on for about 3 days. Now Maximus and her other cat are great friends.
Any chance you can shut Atrus out of a bedroom and let the kitten sleep with you or your husband in either your bedroom or a guest room? He's just wanting company....
I too got to the point where I wondered if I had made a mistake and if I was being "unfair" to Gussie. She hissed at the new kitten, she wouldn't come near me. She was mad. How dare I bring another kitten into her domain! It lasted less than a week, they became friends, and now get along great. But that was a very, very long week for me. It will all work out. Be positive, you did not make a mistake, and this will all work out.
Aww !! I know what your going through. Cello acted the same he was walking around hissing and growling at the air he was so up set with me he would have nothing to do with me even after Leyla and him started to play with each other he still stayed mad at me .I felt like you I just wanted him to be happy again and in time he was.He loves Leyla now and calls for her to play with him all the time there good buddies.
I spent two weeks on the sofa in our living room with Leyla as I didn't want to put Cello out of are bed room I didn;t want him to feel left out so he slept in the king bed with my husband and Leyla and I spent the nights on the sofa.It work out fine we all slept.
Yes, this is very normal. I definitely recommend bonding with your new baby while you can. Once Tesla and Atrus are best friends, they're not going to pay you anymore attention! lol
This part is so hard! No matter how prepared we are... it's still so difficult! I was lucky when Newman came home that my older cats WERE angry and they hissed in his little face every single chance they got (his first days out from his "safe room") BUT they didn't seem to blame me or associate me with being the reason he'd come to live with us. (weird!)
So that part wasn't too bad since they still let me give them affection and reassure them. The part that was SO hard is that after the first few hours home - Newman cried and cried the INSTANT the door closed. No way could I let him out with the others after only a few hours. He hadn't even been to the vet yet! But it broke my heart (and stressed me out) the way he could cry in his nicely set up safe room. I spent at least half my time in there with him those first days but it didn't matter. The instant I'd walk out - he'd cry like he was the tiniest baby just dying of loneliness. I was a nervous wreck.
Of course now I get to do it again with his brother! I can't wait to bring him home Saturday but I'm dreading the first days when he has to be isolated. It'll be especially hard when I have to go to work. I'm already telling myself that we'll all get through it. (and really really hoping that he won't cry for hours at a time and be miserable)
He has a very different personality from Newman (I'm told) so maybe he'll like having his own space?
Please do keep us posted on things. It is hard - but it DOES get so much better. Hang in there and good luck!
Small update since I have a moment
Tesla stayed in our bedroom the first night. Atrus does not tend to sleep in our room let alone on our bed, so I'm sure he did not care that the door was closed; we often kept it closed in our apartment too. He is a good boy about finding a comfy spot and sleeping through the night. Tesla did not cry while in our room but his purr is like a motorboat so I can't really say we got much sleep. He purrs constantly. But he still does cry like he's being murdered if we have to put him in his room (when I am cooking or working or basically doing anything where I cannot actively keep him within arm's reach and supervised). Seriously, I have no idea how he can cry that loud and that long. It just sounds dreadful.
Fortunately (?) my husband left on a business trip to Portland today through Sunday, and I can tolerate (ie. ignore) noise better when I know it is only bothering -me-.
Tesla was vet checked yesterday and is just fine, and I was able to get some Feliway spray at the vet. This either helped a ton or Atrus gets over stuff quickly. If Tesla is in his room, Atrus makes it a point to sit on me and purr and rub his scent on me. He is being a bit touchy about being picked up and is still generally being a grump, which is unlike him but expected.
They have had some very closely supervised time together and I assume what they were doing was playing. Frankly, Atrus is big and strong and perfectly capable of hurting the kitten if that was his intent. They have sniffed each other nose to nose and Atrus has rolled the kitten over or pounced near him. He raised his paw once or twice but did not swat. Tesla looked perfectly happy the whole time and the one time he did fold his ears back, he got to go back to his room for a while. Atrus will hiss in his face or growl if -Tesla- approaches -him-. Tesla keeps trying to go up to Atrus and rub up on him. My husband said he saw Atrus lick the kitten, but I'm not sure I believe him.
I would say even the nose to nose is a good sign! Just curious, does Tesla seem to mind if Atrus hisses loudly right in his face? I wasn't surprised when my adults hissed in Newman's little baby face in the early days...but I was shocked that it didn't seem to phase him the slightest bit. It didn't seem to scare him or hurt his feelings. He just kept trying to lean into them and make friends anyway.
Boy can I relate to it being easier to hear the crying when it's just you at home. When Newman would cry in his "safe room" it stressed me out that much more if I felt the boyfriend expected me to "do something" about it. (probably my imagination - but it was less stressful for me too when I was the only one hearing it)
I hope they're best of friends before long. It does sound like progress has been made!
Good luck.
Blending the kids can be stressful for mom and dad as well as the kids. Please know that it will get better and yes the crying when they have their time outs or when you have to do things and they can't yet be trusted alone with each other is painful when you have to listen to the crying, many times on both sides of the door. It will get better as each day passes. Our last is a real talker, which I don't mind, and when they cry, continuously, it does tug at your heart. Try to relax if you can and soon you'll be all one big happy family. I guess we were very lucky in that our older kid accepted them from day one, nary a hiss, growl or smack. They on the other hand knew how to take advantage of her until she finally did take a stand, but it took many weeks for that to happen. After the dust up, all was well and with each kid addition there have been no incidence. In fact, the older kitties demanded to meet the next kid......lol. We feel so lucky to have had little trouble in introducing them to one another and our oldest seems to really enjoy their antics. Hang in there!
Tesla keeps trying to nuzzle up to Atrus and Atrus is indeed licking him. I assume that's good? Atrus does try to close his mouth on him, but he isn't really -biting- and the kitten is in no obvious distress. I keep meaning to take pictures. Tesla is soooo much smaller than Atrus.