Well done for sticking with her and bringing her through so far - that obviously takes some commitment. But I would say that I think perhaps you are not correct to assume that there is no-one else out there with the patience and love to bring her around. I am sure there are a lot of homes but obviously it is finding one appropriate. She probably would thrive in a single cat environment with no kids or other pets and perhaps with someone who was semi retired. However such homes are few and far between I realise that...but if the situation does revert when the baby arrives then perhaps it may be best to consider rehoming her. I take it you have tried the plug in Feliway diffusers?
I do hope her progress continues as you have obviously put in a lot of time and commitment. I had one of my girls on Valium at one point as she was suffering from ideopathic cystitis but as that didn't seem to agree with her she then went onto a short course amitriptilyne (spelling!) which was better. (In her case the vet reckoned the cystitis was a result of the loss of our older cat).
i'm so glad to hear she's doing better with medication and standing up for herself. i hope you're doing well too
Oh, its been tiring, and yes, its taken a LOT of work... but she's worth it.
Finding a home for her would be much more difficult than finding a home for most cats... she'd need someone who really REALLY loves animals, who has absolutely NO other pets (no dogs, no cats, and no birds-- for the birds safety really), and more patience than anyone is known to have... she's frustrating but its so great to see her progress.
What we wound up doing was bringing her to bed with us. We dont let the other cats sleep with us because we're trying to keep the bedroom hair-free due to my asthma, which is getting worse because of the pregnancy. It helped her trust us again, and because we didnt let her just stay up there anymore and we brought her down into the main part of the house and just kept spending time with her, she started coming around. Its taken a lot to get her this far, and I'd love to keep progressing. She'll probably NEVER be a cat that can fully trust new things (not even a small change in routine, something that everyone experiences once in a while), and I'd hate to adopt her out to someone else only to have her bounce from home to home... ugh... the thought of it just breaks my heart. No, Cleo will stay with us, but we're going to try to ease the baby into HER life as gently as possible.
I just know that re-homing her if she reverts back to her "melt-down-mode" again will just destroy every single moment of work that I've put into her. We're likely going to have her sleep with us for the next year or two, until Cleo adjusts to the new addition. Its really hard to say how she'll react, so we're hoping for the best, but preparing for the worst. I think a few weeks before our baby comes, we'll have to start playing "baby-noises" in the house, get a routine going that she can adjust to, and probably even go so far as to have a makeshift baby take up some of our time lol. Its as though I'm talking about some extremely jealous child... but instead its just one anxious and heavily medicated cat lol.
She's good practice for me!!! Really good practice!! Since I plan on sinking myself into ragdoll rescue instead of breeding, I am sure that something like her will pop up again in the future, so I'd better be prepared for it.