Ragdoll Cat Forums

Dolly was never as affectionate as some of the ragdolls a lot of you describe and we kept tellling ourselves she will become more affectionate as she gets older.
She always followed us around the house, sat infront of the door waiting for us to get home, Woke us up in the mornings with cute kisses, Slept above our heads on another pillow when she was really little, Always wanted to play when she was awake and even slept on my lap for the first few weeks. We were also very concerned about how another cat would affect her.

Unfortunately, as she's gotten older, She stopped waiting in front of the door for us, No longer sleeps on the bed, Doesn't even sleep in the same Room! She doesn't like to be held and tries to avoid our hands when we reach to pet her by lowering her body as she moves away.
Now that we've got Madison, She has been trying SO hard to get Maddy to play with her and pays even less attention to us. She's even starting to run away from us sometimes, when we approach her.
I am happy to say that her and Maddy are getting along even better than before. Before, Dolly would not let up trying to get Maddy to play and that just seemed to annoy Maddy... Now they only play on occassion and Dolly can just sit and watch Maddy as she plays on her own.
We just wish we had a Ragdoll that loved to be held, Would sleep on our bed, Wants to sit on our laps and be pet, Head butt us to show affection (as Maddy has been doing), NEVER run away from us and would once again sit infront of the door to greet us when we come home
I know Not everyones cat is as I described above... but how many of you whose cats are not like that, had thought or hoped yours would be?
I also know not every cat is perfect... We just feel like Dolly is slipping further and further from what we dreamed a Ragdoll would be and why we bought one.
Could it be because we work from home and are around her all day? Does anyone else work from home and spend all day with their cats?
Is she just tired of us or maybe takes us being around all the time for granted?
Don't get me wrong.... We Love Dolly to death! It just feels the feelings aren't mutual and getting worse
We've been really busy lately and have had some not so great news and were looking to both our babies for some comforting and have just been noticing how... Distant Dolly seems at times. Gregg is even saying how much like any moggie she really is at times...
Any one have any ideas on how to "train" her to be more affectionate?
Or did we just get a cat from a Crap breeder that didn't socialize her kittens properly?
Oh... Happy Turkey day to "My Fellow Americans"

She is a baby. You are taking one SHORT period and extrapolating.

Look at it from her perspective and look for opportunities to move things in the direction you want. Move her favorite perch furniture by your chair, where you can reach out to touch her. Offer treats. Pick her up when she is sleepy and give her cuddles. Start by just cuddling her where she sleeps rather than disturbing her. Have catnip toys to entice her to be with you. Take her to bed, since even cats that immediately leave seem more likely to come back in the night or the next morning. Make interactions with her attractive to HER, which takes observing what she likes. If you want a lap cat, be an attractive lap. ; )

Hi Paul

Hammy is 9 months old now. He started out as a lap cat and slept with us. Several months passed and he gradullay changed. No more lap sits and no longer sleeping with us. He still followed us everywhere but prefered his special places he liked to sleep and pats when he wanted them. After having Lilo for 3 weeks now he has all of a sudden started sleeping on my husbands lap again (before I get home) coming for more pats ( he still does not liked being picked up for cuddles) and coming into our bed several times a night for a quick cuddle and pat.

He still has a personality plus and we are very happy with him. He talks to us all the time in his siamese meow. And his companioship with Lily is gorgeous.

Personally I think they are like humans, they let you know what mood they are in and we just accept them whichever way they feeling at the time.

Maddy is going through an upheaval with the new addition. Give her time to adjust and get into a new routine and maybe she will come around again.

Lets hope in a few weeks time you have some good news to update us with.

All the best

Jo-Ann

As you can tell from the pictures i have posted Enzo does like to be around me most of the time but he has now gone past the point of being on my lap so he will sit near me when i am working and watch what i do at bedtime he will come upstairs and make sure we are getting into bed then go back downstairs and have some time for himself.

the onlything he has had to get used to is the children picking him up and taking him everywhere with them that is when he is like a ragdoll he just goes limp and lets them take him anywhere but as soon as he has had enough he bolts!!

im sure dolly has a lot of time still to mellow out

I would give it time and follow Jan's advice. She is still so young. I too am home during the day. One thing I have noticed tho is when I am gone for the whole day, George wants my UNDIVIDED attention when I get home. He will sit and nip at my legs until I hold him and pet him.

I'm sorry you're feeling a little frustrated/disappointed right now. I am home with Moe all day and my husband works from home a few days a week...so I don't have a comparison to those who are out all day, but I think you may be right about being home all day...they don't get a chance to miss us! I find that Moe will disappear under our bed sleeping for a good part of the afternoon. He's always around in the morning and during prime-time hours, but never sits on our lap. We also find that about half the time we go to pick him up he'll run...but when we do pick him up he'll be purring right away and is content to be in our arms...not sure what to make of that...but it does feel strange that he runs from us. Like JanH suggested, I always pick Moe up and take him to bed...and he never stays, but ALWAYS comes back during the night...that's when I find he's most affectionate...it drives my husband nuts because he'll walk past him up the middle of the bed purring, just enough to wake him and then turn and walk over my pillow and flop on the other side of me...(secretly my husband would definitely like for Moe to be more affectionate with him...we'll have to switch sides of the bed one night and see if its me or just that edge of the bed he likes!) I'm certainly no expert, but I do think they go through stages, especially at Dolly's age...and she is adjusting to having Madison around...which is bound to take some of the focus off you. I would think over time her focus would shift back to you once she's fully adjusted.

Thank you, All of you!
Funny enough, This morning, Dolly came onto the bed purring like crazy, to say good morning... so I thought... Until I started to smell poo. She just needed to be cleaned! She had some major Cling-ons!
And Last night, Madison peed on the bed for the second time. She did it Tuesday morning and we washed all the sheets and the down comforter and then Last night, as we were getting into bed, she went to the foot of the bed , scratched a couple times and peed. We have a litterbox just 5 feet from the bed for her too and she's had no problems jumping down so we're just assuming it's a UTI and are going to be taking her to the vet... again (unfortunately they're closed today). So, no more on the bed for her until that gets sorted.

Jan, We will start doing as you suggest. Unfortunately, Dolly is not a fan of Pounce. She does love cheese and tuna. Are these ok for treats to entice her? We have been avoiding giving her either.

Vicky... go away I want George When we go out for the day, we have to go find her to give her some lovin'. We hope it's just a phase.

But Jo-Ann, Amanda & Yvonne... It sounds like your cats are more like Dolly... Hopefully ALL our cats are going through a phase. Dolly was born 03/04/08, So next Thursday, she'll be 9 months old. She is still a baby and she's really been distracted by Maddy. We can't tell if she's jealous of her or just wants to be like her. Where ever Maddy goes, Dolly seems to want to go. For instance, Maddy has been running under the dresser to get away from Dolly when she's being chased. Well, Dolly figured out a way to squeeze under there and now goes and sits under there. When we first Brought Maddy home, she liked sleeping in the carrier we brought her home in and Dolly now likes to go sit in there, even though Maddy no longer does. Maddy goes ontop of a small foot stool that is under a chair in the living room and plays with Dolly from there and last night, Dolly was trying to get ontop of there... unfortunately, there's not enough room between the foot stool and chair, but she was really trying to squeeze up there. Maybe she wants our attention more than we realize? Maybe she IS jealous of Maddy and figures if she goes where Maddy goes, she'll get the attention we've been giving Maddy?
We'll try what Jan Suggests and keep our fingers crossed that it's also just a phase that will pass. She HAS gone through Many Phases since she's lived with us.
Thanks again. I think I also needed to vent a bit too.
Glad you're all here

well enzo is exactly two days older than dolly so i think they will be going through their phases together lol!!

PaulGreggandDolly Wrote:Thank you, All of you!
Funny enough, This morning, Dolly came onto the bed purring like crazy, to say good morning... so I thought... Until I started to smell poo. She just needed to be cleaned! She had some major Cling-ons!

LOL, I have to tell me that had me cracking up. Cause the other day George came to me and I noticed he too had a cling on. lol, it smelled horrendous!

PaulGreggandDolly Wrote:Thank you, All of you!
Funny enough, This morning, Dolly came onto the bed purring like crazy, to say good morning... so I thought... Until I started to smell poo. She just needed to be cleaned! She had some major Cling-ons!
And Last night, Madison peed on the bed for the second time. She did it Tuesday morning and we washed all the sheets and the down comforter and then Last night, as we were getting into bed, she went to the foot of the bed , scratched a couple times and peed. We have a litterbox just 5 feet from the bed for her too and she's had no problems jumping down so we're just assuming it's a UTI and are going to be taking her to the vet... again (unfortunately they're closed today). So, no more on the bed for her until that gets sorted.

Jan, We will start doing as you suggest. Unfortunately, Dolly is not a fan of Pounce. She does love cheese and tuna. Are these ok for treats to entice her? We have been avoiding giving her either.

Vicky... go away I want George When we go out for the day, we have to go find her to give her some lovin'. We hope it's just a phase.

But Jo-Ann, Amanda & Yvonne... It sounds like your cats are more like Dolly... Hopefully ALL our cats are going through a phase. Dolly was born 03/04/08, So next Thursday, she'll be 9 months old. She is still a baby and she's really been distracted by Maddy. We can't tell if she's jealous of her or just wants to be like her. Where ever Maddy goes, Dolly seems to want to go. For instance, Maddy has been running under the dresser to get away from Dolly when she's being chased. Well, Dolly figured out a way to squeeze under there and now goes and sits under there. When we first Brought Maddy home, she liked sleeping in the carrier we brought her home in and Dolly now likes to go sit in there, even though Maddy no longer does. Maddy goes ontop of a small foot stool that is under a chair in the living room and plays with Dolly from there and last night, Dolly was trying to get ontop of there... unfortunately, there's not enough room between the foot stool and chair, but she was really trying to squeeze up there. Maybe she wants our attention more than we realize? Maybe she IS jealous of Maddy and figures if she goes where Maddy goes, she'll get the attention we've been giving Maddy?
We'll try what Jan Suggests and keep our fingers crossed that it's also just a phase that will pass. She HAS gone through Many Phases since she's lived with us.
Thanks again. I think I also needed to vent a bit too.
Glad you're all here

Hi there , aww Dolly will come around she is just being a girl. I did want to ask you if maddy is even big enough to jump off your bed to go pee?When we had Magoo my son Jeff took him to bed the frist night and Magoo peepee on his head LOL Last night Magoo slept with Jeff.But I dont think he was big enough to get off the bed.I know Magoo was older then your sweet little Maddy so maybe she cant get off the bed .